why I fall more in love with Jon Stewart everyday

Here is a wonderous clip of Jon Stewart talking about yet another Republican Presidential Candidate debate last night. 24 is a good show, it shouldn't be political idealogy. And I think it would be terrifying if Jack Bauer ACTUALLY worked for the government.

3:00 a.m. - 4:00 a.m.

So I skipped recapping the last two episodes because I’m lazy. But this one is worth a recap.

The episode begins back at CTU where Morris respectfully puts his jacket over what’s left of Milo’s head. Josh is being taken away by the Chinese and Marilyn is FLIPPING OUT. If I was head Chinese terrorist guy I totally would’ve shot her in the head. But Jack saves her life by telling the Chinese guy that he can calm her down. He then thanks the Chinese guy for giving him this opportunity. I love it when Jack snarls “thank you.” He comforts her by putting her in a chokehold. It’s really hard to type with fake nails. Josh is whisked away down the sewer.

The Chinese are about to roll out so they break up the CTU minions into two groups to lock them away. Jack is in group two and he falls in line next to Nadia. He reiterates, in case Nadia hasn’t been paying attention, that if they get locked up they will lose their chance of recovering the circuit board. He then tells her they have to try and escape but that they probably won’t make it out alive. Nadia’s down with that. I originally thought that Jack said, “I might not even go through with it,” because he’s snarling again and I had to rewind it. That would’ve been a very un-Jack Bauer thing to say. Chloe comes up and asks what they’re talking about which I thought was hilarious. She said it as if Jack and Nadia were just gossiping on their lunch hour. Anyway. Jack gives Nadia the signal and they both attack the closest Chinese person. Morris gets in on the action too and I think Nadia snaps some guy’s neck. Jack chokes the head terrorist with the guys own gun strap! It’s sick. Meanwhile, Nadia has a gun aimed at her head while Jack and Morris look on helplessly. Nadia has taken down two Chinese guys by herself, Jack’s taken down maybe three and Morris is still struggling with his first one. Come on Morris. A bullet takes down the guy who has Nadia and we see that Doyle and his CTU buddies have returned in the nick of time.

Jack and Doyle decide to go after Josh, knowing that the Chinese taking him must have something to do with the circuit board. Nadia allows Jack to be released from custody and off they go. But not before Jack gives Nadia a “great job.” Getting a “great job” from Jack is worth Jack’s weight in gold.

In the Chinese tunnel, Josh is returned to Cheng. Cheng is more than a little confusing to me. Isn’t he a high-ranking diplomat? Didn’t he have to take International Relations in college? He should know that stealing circuit board chips, taking hostages at a government facility and kidnapping isn’t good for Chinese relations. He’s such a renegade. So he gets Josh and calls Poppa Bauer. Phillip would like to talk to Josh. He explains to him that he wants to take Josh to live with him in the land of China because no one will ever forgive him for his father’s crimes. Phillip has apparently never been to the United States because that happens all the time. Phillip says in ten years the Chinese will surpass the U.S. in everything to which my thinking is Phillip will probably be dead in ten years time because he’s really old. Josh’s response to this is “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” which cracked me up. Phillip sighs at his grandson’s stupidity and tells him he’s going anyway. Last week’s episode, while it was entertaining, didn’t make any sense to me. I didn’t understand while Phillip couldn’t just wait until Josh and Marilyn leave CTU in the morning and then go see him himself. But the fact that he wants to take him to China kind of made more sense. Marilyn would’ve never been down with that.

After Josh hangs up with grandpa, Cheng throws him in the car to meet Phillip to exchange the boy for the circuit board. Josh whines to Cheng about being afraid of his grandpa and not wanting to go to stupid China and he never wanted to go on this stupid trip anyway. As they’re starting to leave, Jack creeps up from the hole in the sewer and starts shooting. Jack, Doyle and random agents start taking down the Chinese in an awesome shoot-out. Jack doesn’t even bother using both hands when firing his weapon. He also SLIDES ON THE FLOOR and shoots and kills a scary man. One of the best kills of the season.

Josh and Cheng get out of the car and start running. Josh turns around and kicks Cheng in the chests, which is more evidence that he’s Jack’s son. Or maybe Doyle’s, they all look so similar. I love the Ivy League outfit Josh is wearing. Josh falls and is dangling by a chain when Jack catches up with Cheng, and obviously starts yelling at him. But Josh is about to fall, because he’s a wuss, so Jack chooses to save him. Unfortunately, this gives Cheng ample time to escape. Josh tells Jack what his grandfather is planning, and Jack tells Doyle that his father is in fact still involved.

Your father’s involved with the Chinese? Why? – Doyle
I don’t know. I’ll ask him when I find him. - Jack Bauer

I can’t wait until Jack kills his dad. Speaking of dad, during his escape, Cheng calls Phillip to tell him Jack has Josh again. Phillip tells him, no son no chip and Cheng throws a hissy fit.

Back in Washington, Daniels is explaining to Karen about Lisa and how Lennox is watching the undercover operation. We then go back to Lennox who is still in the van watching Lisa and the spy get it on for upwards of half an hour now, even though last time the bumped uglies, it only took a commercial break.

And finally, we’re done. – Lennox

Lennox is officially my favorite character. Lisa excuses herself into the bathroom and spy guy goes to her PDA as planned. He looks like he’s about to download the planted information, but then changes his mind and doesn’t. When Lisa comes back spy guy is very suspicious towards her and Lisa breaks a wine bottle over his head. This is my dream. At some point in my life I really want to do that, it looks like so much fun. But spy guy doesn’t think its fun and he starts to choke her. The guards finally come in, but I really think they should’ve been closer so they could come in if things went badly, which they very much did. Lisa has a “faint pulse” and is loaded into an ambulance.

Lennox goes in to talk to spy guy and explains to him that he has to pass on the falsified information to his contact if he doesn’t want to receive the death penalty. Spy guy decides that’s a good deal.

Lennox gets back to the White House in four and a half minutes and Daniels and Karen are meeting with President Subarov. Daniels tells Subarov that the circuit board chip was destroyed in a raid by CTU. Subarov isn’t buying it though and does some mad trash talking to Daniels. If Daniels doesn’t give him proof in two hours time (how convenient, that’s how many episodes are left in the season!) that the chip is destroyed he’s blowin shit up. Holy shit Buffalo just scored 9 seconds into the game. I hope they get swept. Sorry.

Back on track. Lennox tells the rest of the people in Daniels’ office need to bounce so him, Daniels and Karen can be alone. It’s weird that they’re BFFs now. Lennox explains that Phillip Bauer is on the line. Phillip says that he has the circuit board chip and he’ll exchange it if he can leave the country with his grandson. Daniels is skeptical that it’s the real chip, so Phillip tells him the serial number. Luckily Lennox has a blueprint of the chip on his PDA and the serial number is blinking without any human input. The three musketeers consider it, Karen is not down. She says that Phillip can’t be trusted and that he’s a sociopath. Daniels asks Lennox what he thinks and he goes “well he IS a sociopath” which is hilarious. Lennox has been on point with the one-liners tonight. But Lennox is down with the plan; he thinks innocent children are good bargaining chips when dealing with national security. Daniels gets CTU on the phone.

Jack is with Josh and he is preparing to bring him back to CTU. An agent tells him that Marilyn wants to talk to him and he goes to take the call. As he’s walking away, Doyle takes Josh away in a helicopter. Someone ALWAYS gets Jack with the “there’s a call for you that you have to take far away from everyone you know.” Jack flips out and it takes like 9 agents to hold him back, which is completely unrealistic, no amount of CTU agents can hold Jack down. And after that one episode where Doyle was cool because he let Jack go chat with Audrey, he is again a tool. Congrats.

hotness

Ok so even though the Rangers season is over, I can't stop myself from sharing this gorgeous picture. I'm hoping to get myself back into blogging mode, starting tomorrow with a recap of 24. I've been too busy sitting on my ass and watching I Love New York 2 (I personally hope "New York" never finds love b/c I can't get enough of that show) and hockey to bring myself to be witty and write anything. But I should get myself back into it to keep myself practicing writing.

LET'S GO RANGERS

My throat hurts, there’s beer in my hair and my ears are ringing and I couldn’t be happier. Nothing compares to 20,000 people cheering and yelling as loud as they can all wanting the same thing. When they sang the National Anthem, the crowd was so loud you could only hear about the first 5 words. Then red, white and blue balloons were released and it was like a big celebration of New Yorkers. It looks so cool when a sell-out crowd is waving those white towels in glee. It’s incredible to hear 20,000 people hold their breathe right before King Henrik makes a save and then explode when he comes up with it 5 seconds later. I’ve been to the Garden when it’s loud, but that was usually for a special occasion, like the night they retired Richter’s number or Messier’s last game. They’ve been so dismal the last couple of years that the actual games haven’t been anything to get excited about. Now that it’s the playoffs, the crowd reacts to every single play. At the end of the second period when the Rangers were killing off a power play and they cleared it to end the period, the crowd went so nuts you would’ve thought they won the Cup. It was incredible. They’ve been playing really smart hockey. Avery, Tyutin and Ortmeyer have been playing really well defensively with their back-checking. Before I was just worried about them not getting swept, now I think they might actually have a chance at beating these guys. For some reason the Sabres can’t seem to get anything going offensively, and God knows the Rangers have given them plenty of chances to. Ryan Miller, the Sabres’ goalie, has been incredible, but Lundqvist has been just a little bit better, which is all the Rangers have needed.

On Thursday I’m going to Florida with the fam until Tuesday night. Which means they better be playing the games down there or I’m going to flip a shit. If the series goes to 7 games, we might be taking a later flight home, because we’ll be flying right when the game is starting. That is the definition of a true fan.

And now I can fall asleep to the soothing sounds of the thunderstorm!

Rangers vs Sabres Playoffs Game 3 highlights

I am currently not watching 24, too much hockey to watch. I will watch it tomorrow morning with my coffee, and it will be lovely. Ok here are the highlights from the Ranger game yesterday where they went on to win in double overtime. I sat on my couch yesterday for literally 4 hours watching the game through my fingers in agony. This clip doesn't include the second goal, which was disallowed because the people in Toronto are slow and stupid. As head coach Tom Renney said beautifully "It has to be a distinct kicking motion. If that's distinct then we're all in trouble."

I am happy to say that I will be attending the game tomorrow night and I'm confident that I will be witnessing a victory. The Rangers outplayed Buffalo Friday night and probably would've won if it wasn't for f***ing Malik. Tomorrow I will be posting my recap of tonight's episode and my experience at my first playoff game at the Garden!!!

some editorials

Two articles.

This first one is about how the NHL would love to have the Rangers fighting for the Stanley Cup. One thing that I've noticed over the years is that no matter how bad the Rangers are every season, everyone plays them well and hopes to beat them. And in a sport that doesn't get much respect or attention, they're probably the most high-profile team in the league. This guy makes a lot of good points, and it's very much worth reading.

This other article, comes from msnbc.com as well. Every week they have some sort of top 5 article about television shows. This weeks was the top 5 shows that should be cancelled and 24 was included. It's my belief that 24 will not be cancelled, the writers will be the ones who decide when to end it, but the guy has some good points.

Coming off its best season ever, “24” has had its worst season ever. The show has recycled plot lines, and has most recently shifted 180 degrees, dropping one plot and picking up another, which is almost as implausible as all that’s come before it. Worse, Jack Bauer has been more absent than usual this year — and there’s not much left to do to him. Unless the writers can give the series a major reboot, focusing on something other than an impending terrorist attack in Los Angeles, it’s time to pull the batteries out of “24’s” clock.

I think this season or the next should probably be the last anyway. There really is only so much that can happen on the show, and there have been a lot of recycled plots, this season especially. Some shows are too good to stay on TV a long time because they can't sustain their past success. The only reason I wouldn't want this season to be the last is the hopes that the 7th season would be better and they can go out on top. I think there's definately going to be a 7th season anyway, but I'm nervous it'll be worse than this one. So I guess I'm a little torn.

12:00 a.m. - 1:00 a.m.

I can’t decide if nothing specific about last night’s episode is standing out in my mind because it was boring and nothing happened, or if it’s because my roommates and I are trying to finish all of the alcohol in our apartment before we have to move out on Thursday. It might be a little bit of both.

The episode opens with Doyle running like a girl through traffic where Jack has abandoned him. Actually, it’s more like Mugatu in Zoolander. This scene was hilarious and I kept praying that Doyle would get hit by a car and die. But he doesn’t, he just throws some guy out of his car and attempts to find Jack. Bill announces to his CTU minions that “Jack Bauer has gone rogue” and that they have to find him before he gives the chip over to the Chinese. Of course no one at CTU is surprised by this news at all because hearing Jack Bauer has gone rogue is as common as hearing “there’s a mole in CTU” or “the suspect got through the perimeter.”

Now that Vice President Daniels is President Daniels, he wants to make sure Lennox isn’t going to call him out about the tape. I am convinced that Daniels could kill a man using only his voice. Lennox tells Daniels that they’re cool and that the only thing he was going to use the tape for was making Daniels stop bogarting the presidency. Lennox leaves and Daniels’ creepy assistant comes in and we witness one of the grossest scenes to ever grace television. Daniels keeps caressing her and talking dirty and then I threw up. It was horrible.

Back at CTU, Chloe and Morris get in a fight. Morris sarcastically asks her to make a list of all the things she would like him to do differently and the fight is boring and tedious until Chloe comes out with this line.

Don’t arm nuclear weapons for terrorists. — Chloe

Ouch. Chloe that’s cold, even for you. But Morris deserved it because he’s annoying and now he’ll go get shitfaced. Chloe immediately starts apologizing and tries to tell him that that isn’t how she feels, but Morris knows it is. He walks away. Later, he hands in papers to Bill asking for a transfer so he won’t have to work directly with Chloe anymore.

Karen Hayes gets a call that the department of justice guy wants to talk to her. He explains that Reed Pollack has been giving up any information he can so as to avoid the death penalty in the roll he played in the assassination attempt on the president. Karen is showed the video and calls him a weasel, which is pretty awesome. He again brings up the fact again Bill had Fayed in custody and let him go and that Karen might have covered it up. Karen explains that Bill didn’t have enough evidence to keep Fayed in custody and that she followed protocol with the information and that she wasn’t covering up anything. However, DOJ guy explains to her that someone is going to go down for it, and he would prefer it be Bill. Bill is farther away from the president and would therefore cause less damage on the American people’s psyche.

Meanwhile, Jack has gotten in contact with Cheng and comes up with a meeting place, which is an abandoned hotel off the highway. He assembles a bomb in a wall panel. When he’s done, he calls Bill and gets his answering machine, even though Bill’s voicemail message says that if the call is urgent you should dial 0. Jack doesn’t do this and leaves a message. When has Jack ever not made an urgent call? And why wouldn’t Bill pick up? His only job at this point is to locate Jack, wouldn’t he keep all lines open? Whatever. Jack leaves a message telling Jack that the chip will be destroyed and asks him to take good care of Audrey and that Bill’s been a good friend. Run Bill, as soon as Jack considers you a friend he will either kill you or you will be killed.

Karen goes to Lennox for advice, because they’re BFFs now. He tells her that there’s no point in the both of them going down and that her job is a lot more important than Bill’s. He also emphasizes that keeping the scandal as far from the president as possible would be good. At first Karen says that if they try to fire Bill she’ll resign, and Lennox goes “haven’t you already tried that today?” Karen doesn’t know what to do but eventually decides. She calls Bill and explains the situation to him.

I can’t let this touch me. I have to distance myself from you. — Karen
How are you going to do that? Are you asking me to resign? –Bill
I am firing you. –Karen

For a minute I though Karen was going to distance herself from Bill by divorcing him, but I guess that was a stupid thought on my part. Fired by your own wife, that’s gotta hurt. And it does, Bill is really upset and hangs up on her and doesn’t pick up when she calls him right back. I feel really bad for Bill, he loves CTU. I think the thing he loves the most is how the lights of the situation room always make his hair look purple. He puts Nadia in charge and is escorted out of the building by security.

Nadia’s chattin it up with Doyle about where Jack might be. They narrow down the possibilities of where Jack could be going and Doyle notices Jack’s car at the motel. Doyle hides in the bushes and waits for the tactical teams to arrive. But the Chinese roll up way before the tactical teams do.

Jack makes Cheng bring Audrey to him before he gives him the chip. Audrey looks like shit. Jack takes the gag out of her mouth and tries to comfort her. He tells her to walk up to a bridge and go to a gas station where a cab is waiting to take her back to CTU. She doesn’t say anything but starts to walk up there. Jack waits as long as he can for her to get away and then hands over the chip to Cheng. It’s at this moment that Doyle decides that he has to do something and he starts shooting everyone. The Chinese start to shoot back and Jack gets hit and stays down for a while. The tactical teams arrive, complete with chopper and start to take everyone out, except for Cheng who still has the chip. He hops into his limo and one of his henchmen takes out this gigantic bazooka and shoots the chopper down with it, which was pretty sweet. Jack gets a couple of kills, but Cheng gets away. Doyle comes in and tells Jack that Cheng got away with the chip. Jack yells at Doyle, telling him that he had the situation under control. Jack just can’t seem to get himself killed today, no matter how hard he tries. Nadia tells Doyle to place Jack under arrest.

They bring Audrey back to Jack, and make her run for some reason. Jack tells her that it’ll be ok, but she’s speaking gibberish. Jack asks her if she even recognizes him and it’s clear that she has no idea where she is or who Jack is. They sit her in a chair and she starts shaking uncontrollably and talking to herself. Jack is seething when he sees what they’ve done to Audrey.

The last four episodes will apparently be CTU trying to get the chip back from Cheng after Doyle’s royal eff up and trying to get through to Audrey. I hope Doyle dies, and I hope it’s Jack who kills him. At this point I find myself continuing to watch to see how the season ends, kind of like when I watched season 4. It’s disappointing, because the season opened strong and with a lot of potential. Get outside! It’s gorgeous!

some musings

Two completely different things that have nothing to do with 24.

First, the New York Rangers have defeated the Atlanta Thrashers tonight to sweep them into playoff oblivion. I cannot express my happiness. The Rangers hadn't won a playoff game in 10 years and then they blowout the series in 4 games. Amazing. I think the acquisition of Sean Avery helped a lot and of course my man Lundqvist layin it down as always. Hopefully, when I go home next Thursday (AAAHHHHHHH) I will finally get to go to a playoff game, since I have never been to one. It depends on the schedule I suppose. They just better stay sharp with all this time off they're probably going to have now.

Completely changing topics now, my roommates and I were just discussing the shooting that happened at Virginia Tech on Monday. (It actually kind of makes since that these are the two things that I'm writing about since they're the only news stories I've been following for about three days.) Anyway. With the more information we get about the guy who did it, it obviously makes everyone wonder if it could have been prevented. I feel like there isn't much you can do in these situations. There's been a lot of talk about the gun laws in our country. I've always been one to think that there is no reason for any private citizen to own a gun. I know why the Second Amendment was created in the first place, but British soldiers are no longer forcing Americans to house and feed them. I can no longer see any good reason for making it so easy for people to have these dangerous machines. But I also realize that the Second Amendment will never be overturned and gun laws probably won't be tightened. But if guns weren't available, people would find other ways to commit these mass murders. If someone is sick enough to have it in their mind to kill a bunch of innocent people, they'll find a way to do it. I just don't think we should make it any easier for them by making guns so readily available.

The thing that is so frustrating when these kind of events happen is that the people who commit them, is they say they have a "message" to send. And it's one of hate but that's never what is rememembered. It just bands people together and brings out the best in people because everyone does what they can to help. These things will always happen, but Americans will always bounce back and survive and reach out to each other, even if it's only for a little while.

11:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m.

I was very sleepy and had another paper to write last night. Here it goes again.

Jack’s being attended to by medical when Doyle comes over and says, “I just wanted to thank you for what you did today because it could have ended a hell of a lot worse today and it would have if it weren’t for you,” which is one of the most poorly constructed sentences I’ve ever heard. Jack thanks him and walks away to a suspiciously well-lit alley and calls Cheng back. Jack offers himself over in exchange for Audrey’s freedom but Cheng’s not having that, an unbreakable man is a useless man. He wants some circuit board chip that will give the Chinese access to all of the Russian’s technology. I didn’t understand this when Cheng says it because he talks painstakingly slow and I can’t really understand him, but it’s explained later in the episode by at least 6 more people. Jack tells him that he’ll do what he can.

He will of course need Chloe’s help. He calls Chloe while CTU is getting debriefed by Buchanan about a job well done. The only way she can get Jack the information she needs is by going onto Morris’s computer and downloading it onto Jack’s phone. Chloe has a really good "dammit." Clearly her and Jack have become much closer. She gets it done in barely enough time before Morris comes over and sees her there.

Meanwhile, President Palmer, who has moved back up to the Oval Office (bye batcave ) calls Vice President Daniels into his office. He asks for his resignation and for some reason Daniels is surprised and insulted by this. Why is Daniels so shocked? He tried to take the presidency right out from underneath Wayne. Daniels refuses and Wayne explains the tape that Lennox has on him and says it would be better for everyone if Daniels just stepped down instead of a long drawn out trial. Daniels is piping mad but agrees.

Morris finds out that someone logged onto his computer illegally and is ready to go tell Buchanan when Chloe fesses up. She explains Jack’s situation but Morris doesn’t like the idea and doesn’t trust Jack to not give the Chinese the chip. When will people stop doubting Jack Bauer? Morris says he’s going to tell Buchanan but Chloe agrees to tell her himself.

In the warehouse, Jack has gotten to where the suitcase nukes are and sees two armed guards. He tells them that he’s a federal agent and is working by order of the president to bring the chip back to CTU. At first they don’t buy it but Jack flips out and acts like he’s about to call the president and they let him through. Worst agents ever. They’re supposed to be guarding a nuclear bomb and this guy just comes up and swears to them that he’s a federal agent working under presidential orders and they’re like “oh yeah sure just go through strange angry man I’ve never met.” So Jack goes in and starts taking the chips out when Doyle and a bunch of other agents burst in aiming their guns at Jack. Buchanan gave the order to take Jack out and one agent knocks him out with the butt of a shotgun to the head. Ouch.

While Jack is handcuffed, Doyle allows him to talk to Buchanan. Jack explains the situation to Buchanan and asks him to be put through to the president. Wayne is eventually put through and is very reluctant about giving Jack the all clear to go ahead with this mission. Wayne needs to be sure that the chip will be destroyed. Jack says that as soon as he knows that Audrey is safe he will destroy the chip no matter what, even if it means blowing himself up. And he tells the president that he owes him. I feel like that’s kind of a disrespectful way to talk to the president, but he has a point. So Wayne tells Buchanan to give Jack whatever he feels he needs for the operation.

Doyle thinks he can give Jack orders but Doyle is stupid. Jack asks him to back him up when the go in to save Audrey. Doyle’s all like “I don’t get romantically involved with people I work with she’s not worth it blah blah I’m the worst character ever” and Jack gets pissed and tells him to shut up or something.

President Palmer decides to give a press conference to talk about how the suitcase nukes are secure. He takes questions but starts to forget everyone’s names and what he’s talking about. Then he collapses on live tv. That is not good for the healing of a nation. We learn that he probably had severe brain bleeding or something and won’t regain consciousness for a while. That means Daniels is in charge again. Right when he was about to hand in his resignation. His first order of business is to stop Jack’s save Audrey operation because he says that Jack can’t predict the outcome of the Chinese not getting the chip. He is stupid. Jack can predict any outcome he wishes.

Buchanan gets the order to call off the operation and calls Doyle. He makes sure Doyle doesn’t let on to Jack that the operation is cancelled.

I need you to disarm Jack as quickly and quietly as possible before he finds out. –Buchanan

To this my friend and I both went “yeah right!” Has he ever met Jack? Geez what are these people thinking? Why is Chloe the only one who realizes that Jack is never wrong and can do whatever he wishes? Doyle hangs up but Jack knows something is wrong and points his gun at Doyle and tells him to pull over. He tells him that earlier in the day he killed his friend and agent and he will gladly do it again if Doyle doesn’t do what he wants. He then leaves Doyle by a chain linked fence in the middle of no where and goes rogue again. I love it when Jack goes rogue.

bye spring semester

Apparently I’ll be updating my blog three times today. My blogging experience, what can I say? I enjoyed writing my blog. I think I had an advantage over some of my classmates in that I picked something with an infinite amount of material on it and it’s something that I follow closely myself.

The main thing that I got out of my blog was a rekindled love for writing. I grew more confident in my writing because I had to do it so much. I think sometimes my blog got a little repetitive, but it was kind of hard to avoid since I had such a narrow topic.

I think I’ll continue my blog, I’ll at least continue the episode recaps. I think it’ll be good to keep practicing my writing, especially since I won’t be in classes for 8 months now. If I continue my blog after the current season ends, I’ll probably broaden what I talk about, probably to politics and just other things I find interesting in the media.

I would’ve liked my blog to reach more people, or at least get more comments. Maybe people are reading it and just not commenting. My family and some friends seemed to really enjoy it. Ten minutes til Jack.

season 4 top episodes

So I lied about posting a substantial post while I was home, but to be fair I was only home for a second. I had just enough time to watch the Rangers kick some Thrasher ass, could this finally be the year I get to go to a playoff game? I don’t want to jinx it.

In case you don’t know by now, I really don’t like season 4, so picking my favorite episodes wasn’t very hard. I think my problem with season 4 is that I can’t suspend my disbelief enough. In one day, the secretary of defense is kidnapped, nuclear plants are on the verge of melting down, Air Force One gets shot down and terrorists get a hold of nuclear missiles. The only thing their missing is like aliens coming down and holding the president hostage. There are some good moments, like when Chloe uses a machine gun and we see part of Los Angeles go all black, but as a whole, I don’t think it works. There are also a host of new mediocre characters and side plots. It’s hard to pick what side plot I like the least, the Araz family, Erin Driscoll’s daughter or Secretary Heller’s gay son. The season finally gets better towards the end when Michelle comes back and Logan is sworn in as president, but before that it’s really incoherent. Anyway, here we go.

1:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m. – I thought this might have been the turning point of the season. Jack and Audrey go to an office to try and ID a man she recognized while she was kidnapped. But of course, there’s a mole at CTU, and the bad guys are alerted that Jack and Audrey are there. Jack calls the “one person he can trust.” They come under fire, and we can kind of see why Jack loves Audrey so much. She shoots people with him and they make a pretty good terrorist killing team. But they run out of ammo and two bad guys are quickly approaching them, Jack’s only defense is an empty gun that he’s holding ready to hit the guy in futility with it. Then we hear gunshots and hear a familiar voice yell “Jack!” and we see Tony standing in the doorway of the garage. Jack, Tony and Audrey run to Tony’s car as the episode closes. I had been waiting with baited breathe for the return of Tony, and when he finally comes back, he saves Jack’s life and looks REALLY good doing it. In the following episodes we see that Michelle has left Tony and that his life sucks and he’s started drinking and living with a skank. It allows for probably the funniest Jack Bauer line ever. After dealing with Tony’s bitchy, skanky girlfriend, Tony looks at Jack and says, “Sorry.” Which prompts Jack to say, “No, she seems real sweet.” One of my favorite Jack Bauer lines ever.

2:00 a.m. – 3:00 a.m. – Ok this episode is pretty awesome. In this episode Jack goes into the Chinese Embassy to get a man with ties to terrorists that the Chinese wouldn’t turn over. This starts the hate-hate relationship Jack has with the Chinese government. The man they need to question gets critically shot in the melee and they bring him back to CTU to be operated on. The funny thing about this episode is that no one is supposed to know that Jack is going into the Chinese Consulate. He calls Tony and tells him to make sure no one else at CTU knows what he’s doing and has him bring up schematics or something of the building. However, Tony speaks in a normal speaking voice and brings the images up on the HUGE monitor so all CTU can see it. Why doesn’t anyone notice this? But anyway, Audrey’s husband, who had been shot earlier in the day, is in medical and starts to crash before Jack arrives. The witness needs to be operated on, but Paul is already in surgery that could save his life. Jack orders the doctor to forget about Paul and work on the Chinese guy. He points a gun at the doctor until he complies. Meanwhile, Audrey, who for some reason is allowed in the operating room, flips out. Paul starts to crash and Jack and Curtis do everything they can to save him but he dies nonetheless. Audrey screams at Jack and tells her she hates him. Every season we see Jack a little bit more unhappy, a little bit less of himself. This season started out pretty promising for Jack. He had a job that didn’t constantly put his life in danger and he was able to fall in love again. But once again, working at CTU destroyed his chances of being happy and that is embodied in this episode.

5:00 a.m. – 6:00 a.m. – The main reason this is one of my favorite episodes is because Tony is shirtless. It’s also a really good episode, but that’s the driving factor. Especially because there’s real no reason to show it. Anyway, in the previous episode, Jack, Tony and a bunch of field agents go to check out a lead. I don’t know why all throughout this season Jack treats Tony as if he’s a field agent, the last time Tony went out into the field he got shot in the neck. Whatever. Tony gets taken by Mandy, a recurring terrorist who always seems to pop up whenever shady terroristic deals are going down. Mandy’s pretty badass, she’s kind of the Jack Bauer of terrorists. She kills without thinking twice about it and always gets the job done. So she holds Tony hostage and learns about how he committed treason to save Michelle’s life. She decides to see if Michelle will do the same for him and calls Michelle and tells her to move the agents so she can escape or she’ll kill Tony. After Michelle gets the call, Buchanan comes in and at first Michelle doesn’t mention the call, but at the last second blurts it out. You can see that she’s really struggling with the decision. They tell Jack and the field teams about the call, and they try and make Mandy believe that Michelle’s doing what she asked. Mandy and Tony head out in the rain to a car but they see one of the field agents moving. They get in the car and it explodes.

They’re both gone. She blew herself up in the car and she took Tony with her. They’re gone. –Jack

Michelle cries out and Jack stares in disbelief. He feels that something is off and watches the video of what happened over and over again. Curtis tells him to stop and says the he understands that Tony was his friend. Jack yells at him and explains that Mandy wouldn’t martyr herself. He finally notices on the video that you can’t hear the rain falling on the umbrella and they go back in, knowing that Mandy sent two different people into the car. Mandy and Tony are trying to find another way out and Tony cuts his barefoot on a piece of glass in the hopes that Jack will follow the blood trail. He does and they catch up to Mandy in the parking lot.

Mandy: (holding a gun to Tony's head) Do you really have what it takes to let me kill him while you’re looking him in the eye?
Jack: Yes.
Mandy: I believe you.

Knowing she’s no match for Jack Bauer, she lets Tony go in exchange for the infamous presidential pardon. Tony calls Michelle to let her know he’s still alive and the greatest love story ever told comes full circle as they tell each other they love each other.

Season 4 is essential in that it leads up to the events of season 5. In the final episode, Jack learns from President Palmer that his life is in danger because some of Logan’s men don’t think Jack will keep quiet if the Chinese ever catch him. When Jack gets off the phone with Palmer, he smiles as he realizes what he’s about to do and goes to Tony for help. Tony, Michelle and Chloe help Jack stage his own death so he can escape. The season ends with Jack walking off into the sunrise in his aviators. And that is a pretty cool image.

Jack Bauer - Ninja Garbage Man!

I found a pretty good sum-up of Monday night's show on tvguide.com. I can't tell who wrote it though, which is weird.

Whatever your complaints about this season so far, you have to admit, there's nothing cooler than watching Jack take out a cadre of terrorists with his bare hands.

So true. I also found on some random Web site the other day, I don't remember where, that some of the writers from 24 visited the writers of South Park and gave them a fake suitcase nuke after the parody that South Park did. I thought it was pretty awesome that they at least had a sense of humor about it. I promise to write a more substantial post when I'm home tomorrow.

Say hello to your brother. -Jack Bauer

It's that magical time of year again. The time when all college students realize that those term papers, final projects and exams that they've been putting off all semester are due or occurring in two weeks or less. I am no exception. But Prof Liz wants us to update our blogs every day this week, and I want to keep Prof Liz happy.

I read in Entertainment Weekly a while back that Kiefer Sutherland was dreading filming this scene, and it's easy to see why. This scene looks physically exhausting, and one wrong move could easily cause a broken bone. But it was well worth the effort because this scene kicks such major amounts of ass.

I'm off to the library now. Fun times.

10:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.

Wow. I might go so far as to say that that was my favorite episode of the season.

We start out with President Palmer and the cabinet watching the nuclear bomb slowly approach its target. There are 5 minutes to go before it blows the northern regions of Derka Derkastan off the map. Lennox and Karen plead with Palmer to stop the attack. The ambassador of Derka Derkastan calls Palmer after their military notices the bomb. The ambassador tells Wayne that one of their generals, Habib, was in contact with Fayed in the hopes that this new information will persuade them to call off the attack. Palmer agrees and the bomb is deactivated. Lennox says he’ll dispatch troops to go pick up the bomb but Palmer stops him saying that it won’t be necessary. The bomb wasn’t real and never would’ve gone off. Palmer realized that Daniels was right in the respect that they needed to be stronger in order for other countries to cooperate with them, but unlike Daniels, Wayne wasn’t ready to sacrifice innocent people to do it. BOOYAH! President Palmer officially kicks ass. I was wondering how they were going to explain Palmer’s decision to go ahead with the strike anyway, and that was a spectacular explanation in my opinion.

Finally a Jack centered episode. Jack is punching Fayed repeatedly in the face trying to get him to talk. Doyle looks on from behind a refrigerator, because they’re in a kitchen for some reason. Fayed and Jack both know that Fayed’s not going to tell him anything. Doyle wants a shot with him, but Jack’s not having it and calls Bill to tell him he’s getting no where with Fayed. Doyle tries to convince Fayed that he won’t be remembered for planning the attacks so he might as well tell them where they are, but Fayed’s not falling for it. Doyle pulls a gun to Fayed’s head and Jack yells at him to put his weapon down. All Jack’s done whenever he’s around Doyle is yell at him. It’s awesome. One of my friends actually likes Doyle. He’s the first person I’ve met so far who likes him as a character. Anyway, Jack tells Doyle they’re bringing Fayed back to CTU and Doyle tells Jack there’s no time for that. Doyle, only Jack can say that, shut up. So the merry trio gets in a CTU-mobile and start to head back.

Now we're gunna have some real fun. –Jack Bauer

Fayed will not like Jack Bauer’s idea of fun. I guarantee that. In the truck, Fayed keeps telling Doyle he won’t say anything, and Doyle’s cool with that because he’ll still “get to watch him suffer.” Jack tells him to stop talking or he’s going to turn this CTU-mobile around and no one gets ice cream. The truck Jack’s riding in gets hit by an on-coming heavy duty truck and flips over. Jack, Doyle and various CTU agents are under fire by the guys coming out of the truck. One by one the agents, Doyle and Jack go down and Fayed escapes in the van. Ok Jack, get up now. We see 4 or 5 trucks coming up the street, Jack sits up, yells “clear” and everyone brushes themselves off. Beautiful. Fayed thinks he’s been rescued, but really he’s been taken by men pretending to work for General Habib, who are really CTU agents. This is the 24 I know and love.

Fayed won’t tell head “terrorist” Jamal where the bombs are until he speaks to the general. Jamal tries to stall while Buchanan tells the president of the situation. Lennox isn’t feeling this ruse CTU has set-up and Wayne says, “If Jack Bauer says that’s a dead end, then that’s a dead end and I believe him.” Finally people just believe what Jack says at face value instead of questioning his every word. Lennox then apologizes to Wayne really sincerely. Wayne explains that he’s not his brother David, but he’s learning a lot about himself and that he’s not too bad. I agree Wayne, you’re really coming into your own. Wayne tells Lennox it’s ok that he doubted his strength and ability, and Lennox says that it really isn’t. Is Lennox my new favorite character? Possibly. Meanwhile, Wayne keeps looking weaker and weaker.

The ambassador arrives at the batcave and Wayne explains to him that they need to get the general on the phone so that Fayed will lead them to the bombs. The ambassador says he’ll do what he can but Habib might not cooperate. Karen and Wayne both get all tough on him. Wayne is awesome in this scene; he really lays down the law. He also tells the ambassador to threaten Habib’s family if he doesn’t agree to do what they need him to. He then tells the ambassador that Derka Derkastani’s are barbarians, but in a good way. It works and General Habib gets on the phone with Fayed and Nadia translates.

Fayed seems to believe that Habib is legit and agrees to go to a meeting point. Nadia double checks the conversation and a name doesn’t match up. He was linked to terrorists, but he died two years ago. Nadia thinks this is a way for the general to tell Fayed that he’s speaking under duress and that Fayed is on to them. Good catch Nadia. Bill tells Jack and Jack tries to warn Jamal. However, they go under a tunnel and lose reception. Jack and Doyle move into the tunnel and find the van Fayed-less and a lot more bloodied than when they left it.

Jack goes into a door in the tunnel and finds Fayed getting onto a sanitation truck. He’s going to meet with his terrorist henchmen to launch the rest of the nukes ASAP. Apparently, terrorists are trained to be able to operate every kind of transportation vehicle ever, even 18-wheelers. Jack climbs under the truck and holds on for dear life, even though he could have easily just hopped on the back like garbage men do. But to be fair, that would have been far less badass.

After they believe Fayed bought the general’s phone call, Palmer whisks the ambassador away and collapses in his office with Tom at his side. The doctor comes up and tries to convince the president to go to the infirmary for some tests but Wayne refuses. He goes back to work.

Fayed and Jack arrive at Fayed’s terrorist headquarters. Jack is left alone with one terrorist henchman, gives him a “Judo Chop!” to the leg and breaks his neck. I love it when Jack breaks necks. Fayed says he wants to detonate the bombs in downtown Los Angeles and to do it now. Jack starts shooting at the maybe 8 or 9 terrorists assembled. He doesn’t waste a single shot. Then it’s just him and Fayed and we get one of the most intense “oh shit that was sick” inducing fight scenes ever. They’re both giving and getting it really good. Jack’s not looking all that well and I keep having this sinking feeling that Jack might not make it out of this one. But he of course does. He strangles Fayed with a chain, whispers “say hi to your brother” and hangs up and watches him die. Wow. That is Jack Bauer at a whole new level of badass.

Doyle and CTU agents come in and explain that they traced Fayed’s get away vehicle with satellite. Doyle’s only response to seeing the carnage that just went down is, “damn Jack,” which really is the only response necessary. Jack doesn’t look too good but says he’s ok, being the ultimate alpha male that he is. Fayed’s dead and the bombs are secure. Ok, there are still about 8 episodes left. Jack gets a call. He can’t hear who it is. When the voice finally speaks, we can tell it’s Audrey. The split screen shows Audrey in an abandoned warehouse somewhere with the Chinese diplomat who’s had it in for Jack ever since season 4. I knew Audrey wasn’t dead. It’s convenient that the Chinese diplomat knew that Jack would be free to take the call at just that moment. Did he just see what Jack did to Fayed? He does not want to declare war on Jack Bauer.

This episode was great, and why is that? Because there was so much Jack. Simple math, more Jack screen time = better episode.

hour 16 already?

I wanted to see what the girls over at slate.com had to say about Monday's episode, which to recap, sucked.

If the 9 p.m. hour were an episode of Sesame Street, it would have been brought to us by the word "affadavit" and the phrase "for the good of the country." Once again, Jack Bauer had very little to do, but hijinks in the White House bunker and interterrorist rivalries between Gredenko and Fayed almost made up for his absence from the screen.

Very good point. They made the point that all of the action happened in the last five minutes of the episode and there were a lot of pointless plot twists that ended up going no where. All of the Gredenko plot twists made no sense and in the end didn't matter because he just kicked it anyway. They also made the hilarious observation that Gredenko uses the world's biggest wire ever when going in to meet with Fayed, when Jack usually just uses one of those ear plug things. But his wire matched with that giant satellite phone he's been using. They also say that terrorists seem to really want to stick to their plan. When Fayed and his men are going to meet with Gredenko, one of his more astute henchmen say that they can cause plenty of damage without Gredenko and should just launch from where they are. But Fayed's not down with that and has to "go ahead with the plan."

They talked a little bit about Doyle and how they don't care about him as a character. They can't tell if he's a good guy or if he's still some sneaky bad guy. Both of them would prefer he be a bad guy because they don't believe or care about him as a good guy. I agree, Doyle is not cool. I've seen a lot of fans talking about how they're possibly grooming Doyle to be the next Jack Bauer after Jack is killed. That would be the worst idea ever. If that happens I will never watch an episode of 24 again. I've tried to find some articles to back that up with but haven't been able to find any. But I also haven't been looking that hard.

They didn't come right out and say whether they liked the episode or not, but the fact that they said all the action happened in the last five minutes leads me to believe they didn't. They refer to the country that Palmer's going to bomb (in his "Uma Thurman andrenaline craze") as Fayed-istan which I really enjoy.

9:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Huh? I can’t really remember more than one thing that happened in this episode because it was so weak.

I’m getting really really sick of Jack not being around in these past couple of episodes. He was in like the first scene, and then didn’t show up again until 9:26 in real-life time, which was very close to 24 time this hour. He does some cool stuff at the end but that’s it. I tend to lose interest in the episode if Jack’s not the focus. That wasn’t always true. Occasionally when there were some less Jack-centered episodes in previous seasons, they would focus on other characters I cared about. The only characters I’m invested in at this point are Jack and Chloe, and Chloe only had a couple of lines in this episode too. Some side plots and other character stuff is good filler for non-Jack time, but it’s been like Jack is the filler now for a good portion of the season. It’s making me extremely angry.

Anyway, here we go. I have a feeling this will be rough going. Wayne Palmer is meeting with his sister and Karen about the cabinet meeting to decide if he’s ok to stay on as president. He asks the doctor for a shot of adrenaline to keep him strong and makes a big deal about walking and appearing strong in front of the cabinet. He looks absolutely fine except for one scratch on his face. He’s also gotten a new shirt and tie apparently because there’s no blood or debris or rips in the one he’s wearing now. In the cabinet meeting, Palmer and Daniels both make their cases as to why Palmer should, or shouldn’t remain as the commander in chief. Then there’s a commercial like every ten minutes. Why is the kid from Even Stevens in more than one movie at a time? That’s weird.

The cabinet votes and comes out in a 7-7 tie. The attorney general says that the vice president needs a majority to win, and since he doesn’t have one the president will remain in power. Daniels then claims that Karen’s vote doesn’t count because she quit earlier in the day and isn’t an active member of the cabinet. Weak Daniels. Lennox says this is a legal matter, and lucky for them! the Supreme Court was hearing a case today (yeah right) and can have a decision within the hour.

Karen calls Bill because she’s upset that she might be costing Wayne the presidency. This reminds me that they’ve barely spoken all day. Bill’s really supportive and tells her that Daniels is trying whatever he can, knowing it’s a long shot. Sandra reaffirms that when they meet to go over their argument for the Supreme Court. She says that since Daniels treated her like a cabinet member and allowed her to sit in on a meeting, he gave no indication that she wasn’t an active member of the cabinet. They’re all pumped by this. On the other side of the batcave, Daniels is hearing the opposite from his creepy–weird nosed assistant. She doesn’t think that they have a case, so she suggests putting in an affidavit saying that Daniels was planning on keeping Karen on temporarily. Daniels is all like “that’s perjury” and assistant girl goes all Machiavellian on him and Daniels agrees with her. Then they share a weird hand holding moment. For some reason this suggestion really bothered me. Daniels isn’t giving very strong arguments as to why he wants to blow Derka Derkastan off the map. Usually I can see the reasoning behind the bad-guys’ actions, but this doesn’t seem to be based in much. And this would’ve just been frustrating and more backstabbing and lying than is necessary.

Something happens at CTU but I doubt it’s important enough to really comment on. Oh no wait, Doyle tells Nadia that he thinks Milo’s the one who didn’t update some security thing that allowed the breach. He wants Nadia to check out his computer to confirm it and she does because Doyle says it would be better than having him be investigated in front of everyone. Doyle was right about Milo messing up and she tells him so. Doyle then changes the logs so that no one will know it was Milo because he knows they need Milo around to find the nuclear bombs. Then he talks about how he’s read the Quran and other various religious stuff but I still hate his existence. Stupid old-man baby.

Then one of the only cool things to happen in the whole episode happens. Lennox tells Daniels he needs to speak to him privately. He tells him he needs to inform him about something in the room. He walks over to the desk and picks up a futuristic candy-dish and points out a radio transmitter. He had been recording everything that was being said in the room. OH SNAP! Lennox is officially cool. He explains to Daniels that after he tried to convince him to lie about Assad’s involvement in the assassination attempt, Lennox thought he needed to watch his back. And boy did it come in handy. He tells Daniels to call the Supreme Court and call everything off and let Palmer resume his duties. Daniels agrees, but looks like he wants to eat Lennox out of anger.

We finally see Jack again. He’s having Gredenko call Fayed and set up a meeting point. Jack says that if he says one word wrong he will shoot and kill him immediately. Gredenko’s being shady, he rolled over too easily to Jack, he’s definitely up to something. Gredenko and Fayed agree on a meeting point and Doyle is sent out with a tactical team. Then, even though he leaves before Jack, Jack gets there first, and Doyle never actually arrives.

In the van on the ride over, a CTU agent puts a tracking device in Gredenko’s forearm that goes deep in to the bone so that he can’t try and take it out. He meets Fayed at a carnival and they buy cotton candy. Then they get down to business. Gredenko takes off his wire. Fayed is pissed that Gredenko led CTU to their location but Gredenko convinces him that they’ll both get out alive. Jack suspects that something is wrong and goes inside to find them. He goes to where the transmitter is but the room is empty. Jack keeps looking and finds Gredenko’s arm. I have to admit, that was pretty awesome. I admire Gredenko’s commitment.

Jack follows the blood trail, because he’s also a CSI, and it leads him to a parking lot. The terrorists spot him and start shooting.

Show me your head. -Jack

Bang! BYEEE head. Quote of the episode right there. Never, ever show Jack Bauer your head. Fayed and Gredenko have stumbled into a bar and they try to escape out the back. Gredenko, who’s lost a lot of blood, yells to the crowd that Fayed’s the one on the news. The bar patrons start attacking him and Fayed shoots into the crowd and Gredenko escapes. The only explanation I could think up for this betrayal is that Gredenko knew he was going to die and might as well take Fayed down with him. But wouldn’t it be a safe assumption by all of them that chopping off a limb with a rusty axe and not getting immediate medical attention would lead to a quick death? Gredenko’s the worst terrorist ever. His plans never seem to work out, Brady out-smarted him and he doesn't think things through.

Jack comes in and fires two warning shots to clear the crowd away. He gets everyone to calm down. Some guy complains that Fayed shot his buddy.

I’m sorry about your friend. –Jack
I hope you’re friend is dead! -Fayed

Haha. I loved that. Jack now has Fayed in custody, and he did it all alone. As usual.

Gredenko has wandered down to the beach and is stumbling and losing blood under a pier. He falls into the ocean and presumably dies. Happy birthday gredenko good night. This scene seemed very OC to me. I expected Ryan Atwood to come and punch him in the face while Modest Mouse played in the background.

Lennox gives Palmer, Sandra and Karen the good news that Wayne will continue to be the president. Karen and Lennox then call a truce and shake hands. Lennox and Karen really seem like they want what’s best for the country, and maybe they’ve realized that and are getting passed their differences. Not like Daniels who just seems like a little boy eager to play with his toy nuclear weapons.

Buchanan calls President Palmer and tells him that Jack has Fayed in custody but they still don’t know where the suitcase nukes are. “That’s what I needed to know,” Palmer says ominously and hangs up.

Mid-truce, Lennox and Karen are informed that Palmer is about to go ahead with the nuclear strike. WHAT? This makes no sense. I don’t get it at all. Lennox enters the cabinet meeting room and asks Wayne what he’s doing. He says that he’s been accused of being weak all day or something. He risked his life to do what Daniels was going to do anyway? Did he just want to take credit for it? I’m confused. It seems really out of character since Wayne’s been kicking so much ass lately.

This episode was really weird. It didn’t keep my attention and a lot of things happened that didn’t make all that much sense. Hopefully next week we’ll get to see Jack torture Fayed at least. I chose this picture a) because it made me laugh b) because it makes as much sense as the end of this episode.

The following takes place between recess and Geography class.

24 has achieved the highest honor ever to be received. It was parodied on South Park. Cartman is Jack Bauer and Kyle is his Chloe. They use the ticking clock, the CTU ringtone, split-screens and "whispering, but whispering really loudly for dramatic effect". I'm also pretty sure they just ripped some lines straight from the show, along with storylines such as Homeland Security taking over Kyle's room, like Homeland Security takes over CTU in Season 5. Download it, youtube it, do whatever you must to watch it immediately. This should be done with any South Park episode anyway.

Along with making fun of 24, they also allude to the idea that you can find out anything about anyone using the Internet. Kyle uses myspace, ebay, youtube, craigslist, mapquest, google and various other Web sites to find out everything about all the suspected terrorists.

Hillary Clinton is also featured in the episode. Cartman believes a new Muslim student is planning an attack on a rally she's giving later in the day. During her speech she talks about how South Park is a small town just like the one that she grew up in with "real Americans" a least 5 times. I love it, why do politicians ALWAYS seem to think that they have to paint the picture that they're just like us? It's never true! And to quote Jon Stewart, "Don't be like us! Be better than us! We got all caught up in the macarena!"

Some good quotes from the episode as provided by TV.com. The best part at the end where Kyle accuses Cartman of being racist and arguing with him isn't on there yet because it's really long but hopefully it will be soon.

Cartman: Okay, who got rid of the Muslims, huh? That was all me. A simple thank you would suffice.

Cartman: Mr. Thompson, you have to call off the Clinton rally. There's a terrorist in South Park.
Alan Thompson: What do you know?
Cartman: He just showed up out of the blue. I need to speak with the president right away.
Alan Thompson: I'm the head of the CIA. You can tell me.
Cartman: I said I will only talk to the president.
Alan Thompson: Look, if you have information of a threat, you should-
Cartman: Lalalalalala-
Alan Thompson: I will have you arrested for it-
Cartman: Lalalalala...Can't hear you...only the president...lalalalalala.

Vladimir: It doesn't matter, the detonator is on a timer. You are too late, in 3 minutes.

Cartman: Look further down the page. Does he list his favourite band?
Kyle: White Stripes.
Cartman: That's funny...
Kyle: What?
Cartman: He told everyone in class today his favourite band was Blink 182.

season 3 top episodes

Season 3, CTU gold. Picking only 3 episodes to write about for this season was tough stuff.

Season 3 starts out 3 years after the end of season 2. Jack is back working at CTU. Tony and Michelle are still working there, now as husband and wife. We are also introduced to Chase, Jack’s partner, and Chloe. Kim has gained employment at CTU and a terrible haircut. Season 3 is the year of bad haircuts. Kim has disgusting bangs, Nina has a mullet and Sherry Palmer looks like she’s wearing a wig. But that can all be overlooked. Season 3 shows CTU’s attempts to stop a deadly virus from being released in Los Angeles and other major cities. The virus is being sold to Mexican drug-lords the Salazar’s, the best bad guys ever. Jack has been undercover with the Salazar’s for months, and eventually brought him down and put Ramon Salazar in prison. However, Jack breaks Ramon out of prison, to stop the virus from being released. The rest, as they say, is history.

1. 7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. – Jack has broken Ramon out of prison and is being held hostage on a plane to Mexico. Ramon doesn’t trust Jack, since he’s the one who put him in prison, so he has him handcuffed in a little room being watched by a guy not paying attention to him. It is a full out party on the Salazar private plane. There’s champagne, dancing, girls, Ramon is having so much fun. Except for the fact that he wants to kill Jack. It’s really distracting him, but all his homies keep telling him that his brother, Hector, wants him alive. So he finally sits back, relaxes and gets a lap dance. Meanwhile, Jack, who is suffering from severe heroin withdrawal, starts to fake throw-up where he’s being held hostage. (The only thing harder than saving the world in one day, is doing it while going through heroin withdrawal.) The person watching him comes over to check on him, and while Jack’s hands are handcuffed over him, he uses his legs to break the guy’s neck, killing him instantly. It’s one of my favorite Jack Bauer kills of all time. He uncuffs himself, and prepares himself for possible death until they get to Mexico.

Back at CTU, Michelle and Ryan Chapelle have one of their agents, Gael in custody after learning that he was in contact with the Salazar’s. He’s getting the torture kit special when Michelle learns that Tony is coming out of surgery. Earlier in the day, he had been shot in the neck and underwent emergency surgery and Michelle stayed at work, helping to work through the crisis. Now she wants to go to the hospital to be there when Tony wakes up. Chapelle gives her a hard time though.

Michelle: Anything that spills over, you can give to Chloe.
Chappelle: Chloe's a pain in the ass!

That’s true. Chloe is a pain in the ass this season. Season 3 Chloe, is really really annoying Chloe. Her inability to interact with humans is crippling and not endearing as it becomes in later seasons. It just makes you want to punch her. But it allows for a lot of good lines. Michelle goes to the hospital and Tony asks her about what’s going on. She explains that they found out Gael was a traitor. Without explaining anything, Tony insists he goes back to work. Michelle reluctantly signs him out of the hospital and brings him back to CTU. That’s badass. He got shot in the neck and almost died and is going back to work. He runs into the room where Gael is being tortured. Gael’s watch beeps.

Gael Ortega: He's in.
Ryan Chappelle: What are you talking about? Who's in?
Tony Almeida: Jack.
Ryan Chappelle: What?
Tony Almeida: Gael and I have been working with Jack. We've been trying to get him back undercover with the Salazars. That signal mean he's back in.
Ryan Chappelle: I don't understand.
Tony Almeida: Look, I'll explain everything. Right now we've gotta call the president.

The reason Jack is really breaking Ramon out of prison is because he’s made a deal with Hector Salazar. The virus will be sold to them at which point CTU will intervene. The only people who knew about this were Jack, Tony and Gael. My favorite plot twist on the show.

2. 12:00 a.m. – 1:00 a.m. – At this point, everyone who’s anyone is in Mexico. Jack has learned that Nina is a buyer for the virus and has offered more money. In order to stop the virus from getting out, he’s had to force Nina to work with him. He also had to kiss her, which is probably the most disgusting and hard to watch moments of the show. Now, Jack, the Salazar’s, Nina and the CTU agents are going to meet Michael Amador to buy the virus. Nina keeps trying to warn Ramon, who has shot and killed his brother, that Jack is still working for CTU. She almost gets Jack caught too, but Chase stops Ramon’s suspicions. Nina knows that Jack is still working for CTU, she knows him better than to think he’s sold out and betrayed his country. Too bad no one will listen to her. Nina meets with Amador to buy the virus, only he switches it with a fake one at the last second, and no one notices. CTU gets the signal that Nina has the virus and moves in. Jack kills like 76 Mexicans with only a knife and his bare hands. Ramon ends up with the vial, and while Jack holds him at gunpoint, it explodes, killing him instantly. Only halfway through the season and all the Salazar’s are dead. They realize Amador still has the real virus, but he’s gotten away. He’s a very organized, sneaky bad guy. There hadn’t been too many kills this season, but this episode all but makes up for it. One of the most action packed episodes of the season, and show up until this point.

3. 10:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m. – Saunders has captured Michelle and is holding her hostage so that Tony will bring Saunders’ daughter back to him. Tony is doing everything Saunders’ wants him to do, which got him fired from CTU. This is the second time today that Michelle’s life has been in danger. She went to the hotel where the virus was released, but turned out to be immune to it. Prior to that, her and Tony had been in a huge fight because she doubted his ability to run CTU because of the affects of the surgery. After that he had barely talked to her and had been kind of a jerk. She was also kind of pissed that Tony was planning this big operation with Jack and Gael and hadn’t told her. So there was some tension. But now, Tony is potentially putting millions of lives in danger to save her. It’s the most romantic story ever told. Anyway, Tony is taking Jane Saunders to a meeting point so they can make the switch. Jack finds out what Tony’s been hiding and follows him. He catches up with him and listens in as Tony makes the call to Saunders about where they’re going to meet. After Jack hangs up the phone on Saunders, Tony flips out.

Tony: My God Jack, didn't you learn anything from what happened to Teri?
Jack:(pushing him away) SHUT UP TONY! Shut up!
Tony: Just because you sacrificed your wife for this job doesn't mean I'm gonna sacrifice mine!

Ouch. Tony and Jack have a very complicated relationship. Season 1 they kind of hated each other because they had both boinked Nina. Season 2, Jack broke Tony’s ankle to escape lockdown, but then eventually relied on him and Michelle to get crucial evidence. This season, Tony is one of two people Jack trusts to complete this very dangerous, secretive mission. Tony also puts Kim’s life in danger and Jack goes crazy on him, but then still apologizes later when he has to fire him. Now, Jack is putting Michelle in danger, but Jack will still be Tony’s only friend next season. It’s like they’re friends and respect and trust each other, but also hate each other. It’s a really good dynamic.

While everyone prepares for the switch, Michelle taunts the men keeping her captive. She then fakes a nose bleed, making the guard think that she has the virus. While he’s distracted, she unlocks the door, picks up a brick and smashes the guy in the head. Michelle picks up his phone and runs outside. As soon as she gets service, she calls CTU. Chloe picks up but since Michelle’s whispering, Chloe hangs up on her impatiently. She finally gets through to Jack and Jack tells her to go back and get caught. Tony flips out, but Michelle reluctantly agrees. And she does all this in heels.

The switch is finally set to happen and when Jane gets close to her father, she gets scared and runs away. This causes a complete shootout, with Tony covering Michelle and firing away. I was never so afraid for Michelle’s life. But they all survive, and Tony gets taken away in handcuffs.

Notable mentions: 6:00 a.m. – 7:00 a.m. – The death of Ryan Chapelle. Saunders orders Chapelle dead by 7:00 a.m. because of information Chapelle is finding. Everyone tries to find Saunders’ location before, but they can’t. Jack knows that he’s going to have to kill Chapelle, and Chapelle knows he has to die. This is the only time we see Chapelle be completely human and vulnerable. The end of the episode shows Jack aiming a gun at the back of Chapelle’s head, saying softly, “Sorry we let you down, Ryan. God forgive me,” and Chapelle falling forward lifeless. The episode closes with a silent clock. Holy sh*t. 1:00 a.m. – 2:00 a.m. – Jack, Chase and Nina are on a plane back to Los Angeles. Nina still has vital information so Jack tries to question her. She has him dial a number that sets off a worm at CTU. Jack is pissed that Nina, once again, has fooled him. Fortunately, Chloe and the other CTU workers stop the virus before it is able to do any real damage, and Jack doesn’t have to comply with Nina’s wishes. When they stop the worm, Jack smiles for probably the first time the whole season, and happily informs Nina that all of their computers are working.

There are so many other good moments, like when Sherry gets punched in the face, when Michelle shoots some rioter at the hotel, when Jack chops Chase's hand off and when Kim is forced to go undercover. But unfortunately I couldn’t write about them all.

Jon Stewart vs. Joel Surnow

Joel Surnow, one of the creators of 24, has created The 1/2 Hour News Hour. The show will air on Fox and is supposed to be like The Daily Show for Republicans. This is an example of how not funny it is. This could be because my mother-instincts kick in whenever someone criticizes Jon Stewart, but I think it's because they're trying so hard to be exactly like The Daily Show. And it always bothers me when people say that TDS is liberal. It is, but that's not the whole story. I've been watching the show consistently for over 7 years now and trust me, Stewart and his "correspondents" make fun of everyone. The thing they do best is make fun of the media and the state of journalism, which many people accuse of being left-leaning. That's what they call a paradox. Also, a lot of the appeal of The Daily Show is Jon Stewart himself. He's so charasmatic, intelligent and down-to-earth, it's really hard not to like him. So Joel Surnow, while you're very good at scaring us and keeping us on the edge of our seats, comedy is not your thing.

8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.

Jack gets a new best friend in this episode! And Jack smiles!

Gredenko keeps calling Joystick Man but he’s not picking up. Gredenko and Fayed assume that he’s dead and Fayed gets all up in his face. Fayed doesn’t want to share his bombs, but Gredenko reminds him to play nice because he’s the only one who can deliver them to the destinations. Gredenko makes a call to some guy named Mark asking for something. I didn’t really get it. Anyway, Mark says he can get what he wants in half an hour and Gredenko says he’ll be there in forty minutes. We are then introduced to Mark’s brother Brady, who’s Rainman and apparently a computer whiz, because he’s the one who accesses the files Gredenko needs. Brady is adorable, he doesn’t fit on this show at all, but I don’t care because he’s so damn innocent and cute and he loves his brother who takes really good care of him.

At CTU, Buchanan has informed Jack that they have to find Gredenko and/or Fayed before the vice president launches his nuclear attack, which will be within the hour. Jack says “dammit” and hangs up the phone. Nice. Chloe tells Buchanan that she might have caught a break, because she’s the best CTU worker ever. While monitoring Gredenko’s contact list, she saw that he made a call to Mark Hauser, who works at a chemical plant and they even have an address for him. Chloe tells Jack the good news and he relays it to Doyle to see if he wants to tag along. Doyle declines and Jack could not possibly care less, because that’s how Jack rolls.

Prior to this, some creepy, weird looking man told Doyle that he found a transponder on the computer directing the drone. The transponder proves that Nadia’s computer was hacked without her knowing it. He’s all like, “that’s gunna suck for you Doyle” and gives him the transponder saying something how they’re even about stuff back in Denver. Did CTU Los Angeles buyout CTU Denver and take all their employees? It sounds like more backstabbing and manipulating went down in Denver than in LA, and I didn’t think that was possible. Doyle puts the evidence in his pocket, thereby solidifying his #1 Tool status.

Cut to the batcave. Karen pleads with Sandra Palmer to take Wayne out of the coma after explaining to her what Daniels is planning to do. At first, Sandra can’t agree to do it, but then Karen convinces her because she’s like a Jedi. Seriously, she’s got some of the most convincing, heartfelt speeches I’ve ever heard on the show. I’d do whatever she says.

Vice President Daniels is in a cabinet meeting where everyone is being debriefed about what the “loud and clear message” in the form of a nuclear bomb will do to Derka Derkastan. All this talk of destruction and a possible WWIII seem to seriously be turning Daniels on. Creepy vice president assistant interrupts the meeting to inform Daniels that Wayne is being taken out of his coma. He is PISSED. He gets on the phone with the doctor and tries to tell him that he’s not working in the best interest of the president and orders him to stop. The doctor forcefully informs him that he’s the doctor and he’s going to do whatever he and Wayne’s family thinks is best and does not back down to Daniels’ threats at all. If only the rest of the cabinet had cajones like this guy. He’s the man.

Jack and the tactical team arrive at la casa Hauser and bust in shooting. Listen up Jack and various CTU agents and listen well: when you are breaking into a house of a suspect that has vital information, ease up on the fire. This guy was unarmed and Jack and everyone else just start shooting away. So of course, Mark gets shot in the leg and a main artery and needs to be taken to the hospital. But there’s no time for that so they just stabilize him there.

Brady is flipping out and he’s put into another room away from all the hubbub. Jack goes in alone to talk to him. We get a “my name is Jack Bauer” as he tries to calm Brady down and figure out how he’s connected in all of this. Jack smiles, for what I think is the first time the whole season, and talks softly and is really nice to him. It’s really cute, but maybe that’s just because I’m a girl. Brady tells Jack that his brother had him hack some files and spits out tech jargon perfectly. Jack’s clearly impressed and really glad that Brady helped him out. He smiles at him again and goes to talk to a very bloody Mark. Jack tells Mark that the only way to keep his brother out of jail is to tell him everything, and Mark knows it. He tells Jack that Gredenko is coming to meet him and calls to tell him that Brady will be making the drop because he got called into work. Gredenko knows about Brady, are Mark and Gredenko really tight? After they hang up, a CTU agent/doctor tells Jack that they have to get Mark to the hospital now, and Jack finally lets him go. Mark makes sure that Brady knows he’s ok and to do everything Jack says. I bet Jack would have preferred to have a brother like Mark or Brady over Graem any day.

Back to CTU. Creepy guy who told Doyle about Nadia not being a spy, tells Milo about the evidence that Doyle has. There’s about to be a rumble. Milo takes off his sling and runs at Doyle. Buchanan stops them and Milo explains that Doyle’s holding evidence about Nadia being innocent. Morris comes running from 4 feet away and for some reason is breathing heavily. He explains that Doyle gave him the evidence and just wanted to check and make sure it was legit before handing it over. Milo apologizes to Doyle, pretty sincerely, and Doyle lets it go. Huh? I thought they hated each other, that’s the end of it? Weird.

Buchanan goes and talks to Nadia. He explains to her that they found evidence clearing her and apologizes about what happened. Nadia is fuming and hasn’t said a word. She gets up to leave and Buchanan convinces her not to quit, and she stays on. Somehow, she looks better now that she’s been harassed by Doyle. Milo is preparing Nadia’s desk with roses and candles and Chloe comes over to tell him that Nadia’s all set to go.

We all thought she was guilty, this is going to be awkward. –Chloe
Yeah. –Milo
But more so for you … you’re feelings for Nadia aren’t really a secret. –Chloe

Chloe’s the best. Nadia comes back and Milo tries to apologize but Nadia isn’t having it. She walks away and Milo follows her. She explains to him that what he thought might happen between them won’t and that CTU isn’t the best place to start a relationship. Finally someone understands this. If you have a relationship at CTU one, or both of you, will die. Then, we get the hottest most intense kiss on 24 since way back in season 2 when Tony and Michelle kissed for the first time. But at least Tony and Michelle tried to be discreet; Milo and Nadia are just chilling in the middle of the room behind a bunch of TV’s. As much as she tries to deny it, Nadia cannot resist Milo. She should watch out, if I remember my OC characters correctly, and I think I do, Milo will just get her pregnant and then beat her constantly.

Jack is preparing his new BFF Brady for the drop-off. Jack has never been this nice to anyone, not even Kim. I expect Jack to give him a big hug. Brady’s ready to go, and everyone is in position when Gredenko shows up. Brady gives Gredenko what he wants and Gredenko tells his men in Russian to kill Brady when they get what they need. Thankfully, Jack speaks Russian, and he relays the info to the rest of the team. Tranquilizer dart sniper can’t get a clear shot of Gredenko. Jack’s getting worried, he tells Brady to get down when he tells him to. It’s almost time, if Brady dies I swear… Brady gets down and Gredenko gets a beautiful tranquilizer dart to the neck. Everyone is taken down and Brady is huddled on the ground, completely unharmed. Yes! Brady’s a better field agent than Curtis ever was, if he listened to Jack like Brady did, maybe he’d still be alive. Jack goes to check on Brady and gets him rolling to the hospital to be with his brother. Jack smiles again.

Jack is informed that Gredenko is regaining consciousness. The agent then asks Jack if he wants help with him, to which Jack’s only response is a menacing “no.” He walks in to where Gredenko is being held and Gredenko knows all about Jack. He decides to skip the torture thing all together and just ask for his pardon right away. Jack stares at him, not trusting the fact that he’s going to give up Fayed so quickly. Jack wants to torture him and send him on the fastest plane back to Russia. But he can’t, and Gredenko will get his pardon in exchange for Fayed’s location.

Daniels can barely contain himself he’s so excited for this nuke to drop. Lennox comes in and tells him that CTU found Gredenko and that they should hold off with the attack since they’ll probably be able to find the other two bombs now. Daniels goes ahead with the attack anyway until he’s informed that President Palmer is on the phone. Palmer orders the attack stopped and that nothing is to happen unless it’s a direct order from him. Wayne Palmer looks absolutely fine. Daniels says he’ll do what Palmer says, but then hangs up the remote-control phone and tells the cabinet that Wayne is not fit to run the country and calls a meeting. Man that is so season 2.

This episode had more Jack, which is a plus, but it wasn’t the Jack Bauer we’re used to. It was a kinder, gentler Jack Bauer. I’m not sure how I feel about this episode yet. I would like to make one more point though. In past seasons, there were characters you loved to hate, like Nina, Sherry or Charles Logan. But this season there is Daniels and Doyle, who I just hate hate. It’s not the same thing and I don’t like it.

kiefer attacks christmas tree

This video was circulating a while ago but I thought I would share it again because it's so funny. It sums up why my life goal is to someday go out drinking with Kiefer Sutherland.

season 2 top episodes

That post before was a lie. The link wasn't working but now it is fixed. So my top 3 season 2 episodes are in podcast form. I still don't want anyone to listen to it because I lost my voice, I think I sound really uncomfortable and like I have a lisp. I don't really have a lisp I promise.

Anyway, here is the updated link.

torture counterproductive?

Remember Khalid Sheikh Mohammed? He was a high-end al-Qaida man most remembered for looking like this when he was captured. Recently, he confessed to being the mastermind behind such acts of terrorism as the September 11th attacks and the death of journalist Daniel Pearl, yet it hasn't gotten that much attention. I found an article on Slate.com about how his capture and confession are proof that torture is counterproductive. I'm not a huge fan of Slate, but it still brings up some good points.

In the column, they talk about how a lot of people thought that his capture would lead to some "ticking time bomb" scenarios. In other words, that his capture would immediately lead to information about attacks that would be happening within hours or days that they would now be able to thwart Jack Bauer style. But that didn't happen. His capture is proof that the "ticking time bomb" scenario, does not exist. So to all of you people who use 24 as an example for why it's ok to torture people because there's an imminent threat and it applies to real life, please join the real world.

The torture part comes into play because the U.S. was debating just what "torture" meant around the time of his capture. It's hard to believe they didn't torture this guy, probably just for kicks and to get his subsequent confession.

It is true that the administration has now stated clearly that torture, at least by its own definition, was not used in KSM's interrogation. ("We don't do torture" is how the White House press secretary cavalierly put it.) But even if we were to give the administration the benefit of the doubt, which hardly anyone will, the circumstances of KSM's detention have been unacceptable, at least by American standards. Even if he was not tortured, then certainly he was held in secret, extralegal, and completely unregulated conditions, possibly in Eastern Europe or the Middle East, certainly under nothing resembling what we in the United States normally consider the rule of law, either international or domestic. The mystery surrounding his interrogation—when it was carried out, how, and by whom—renders any confession he makes completely null, either in a court of law or in the court of international public opinion.

So not only is torture never necessary to stop an imminent threat, it also makes anything the torturee says suspect because of the duress they were under when they gave the information. They even say this about police interregations, some states are even making these sessions be videotaped to make sure it's on the up and up. I've used a lot of cliches in this post, what am I doing? Sorry. These terrorists are without a doubt bad guys. But when our own government tortures them and treats them inhumanly, it just makes our own government look bad and like we're stooping down to their level.

7:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

I knew the writers would continue to bring me joy.

Gredenko explains to Fayed that they need to launch the drones RIGHT NOW because CTU knows where they are. This kind of makes Fayed happy because now he can finally get on Gredenko’s case for screwing up, since that’s what he’s been doing to Fayed all day. The Russian who’s in charge of flying the drone with a joystick launches it. Terrorists are always really high-tech, yet they are using the same gaming device that I used in 1996 to play EA’s NHL hockey with on my computer.

Nadia and Milo are talking at her desk, and Milo puts his hand on her wrist. They’ll be married next season. Chloe ominously comes over and tells them that she found out that Nadia was logged in under Milo’s username and that it’s a felony. Milo tells her that she can’t get them arrested because they need all the man power they can get. Chloe explains to them that if she was going to report them she would’ve already and she’s just giving them a warning so no one else notices it. And that Chloe, is how you interact with co-workers affectively.

CTU quickly finds out where it us, but the drone is not able to be picked up on radar. CTU has to use satellites to tell the air force where they are so they can shoot it down before it gets to its destination. Morris quickly loses the satellite image however, and no one can figure out why.

Jack is back in CTU but is sent down to medical. He sees Marilyn and stops and talks to her. Marilyn tells him how disappointed she was that they never worked out and leans in for a kiss and gets shafted. Jack Bauer does not settle for his dead brother’s sloppy seconds. Jack explains that he’s in love with another woman and that he has to talk to her. Marilyn knows he’s talking about Audrey, even though no one in Jack’s family has spoken to him since his wife died seven years ago. Marilyn explains to Jack that she read in the papers that Audrey died. WHAT? Where is this coming from? A major character died and we didn’t even get to see it? What a rip-off. She was in China and there was an accident. Jack is devastated. He runs out to talk to Chloe. He slams her phone down in the middle of her conversation and asks why she didn’t tell him about Audrey. She explains that since they all thought Jack was just going to die anyway there was no reason to tell him, but apologizes for not telling him after the fact. Chloe, that’s the second time in a row that you’ve known how to interact with people. And you were practically sensitive. I’m so proud of you.

In the batcave, Veep Daniels is being brought up to speed on the aerial drones. He calls a chief of staff meeting and his weird creepy assistant, who will clearly become a bigger part of the show because of all the camera pans to her, tells him that Karen Hayes will be attending the meeting. We see Karen walking down the hallway and she runs into Lennox, and questions him about the cut on his forehead.

Karen- Did someone throw you down a flight of stairs?
Lennox- No, Karen, I tripped over your ineptitude.

Lennox you are one weaselly little guy but boy was that a quick, awesome response. Kudos. In the meeting Daniels explains that if the bomb goes off the U.S. will respond with a nuclear bomb on Derka Derkastan. Karen is not down with that and forcefully tells him so. She explains that their country does not support Fayed and the terrorists and that it could start another world war. The zoom-ins on Lennox made me believe that he was going to agree with Karen for once, and apparently so did she. But the meeting is adjourned with Daniels all set to destroy the Middle East.

Outside, Karen confronts Lennox calling him out on the fact that he doesn’t agree with Daniels’s plan either. Lennox gets really mad and tells her that she doesn’t know what he’s thinking and that he’s serving at the discretion of the president, who at the moment is Daniels. Then he gives Karen the finger and walks away. Well no, but he might as well have.

Milo comes up to Chloe and asks her if Morris has been drinking. She doesn’t think that he has but Milo wants her to check his breathe. She agrees, walks over to Morris’s station and kisses him. Morris asks her why she did that, and she told him that she was checking his breathe for alcohol. She reports an “all clear” to Milo and he shakes his head at her in an “alright Chloe you got me that was a good one” way. This might be the funniest moment ever on 24. I could not have been happier.

In the situation room at CTU, Chloe explains that the reason they don’t have satellite coverage is because someone is hacking into the system from inside. Surprise! Another mole at CTU. Is there ANY background check involved when applying to work here? Chloe says she can figure out which computer it’s coming from but it’ll take hours, so they need to narrow down there search. Doyle tells them to start with Nadia, DUH. Milo flips out, because he wants to tap that, and tells Doyle that Nadia is a loyal American. Doyle’s like “she’s suspect because she’s Muslim and everyone’s thinking it but I’m the only one who’s saying it.” Doyle might be the biggest tool to every grace the offices of CTU. Milo gets in his face and calls him a racist. Buchanan says they might as well start with her, Milo gets even angrier and Doyle goes, “you wouldn’t be saying this if you weren’t itching to sleep with her.” If you thought Milo was pissed before… Chloe interrupts all of this by saying that it did come from Nadia’s computer. Ok there’s NO WAY Nadia’s the mole. It would just be too obvious and unbelievable and CTU never gets the mole right on the first try.

Karen goes to see how Wayne Palmer is doing in surgery. The doc explains that he was crashing before, but they put him in a coma so they could [medical jargon I don’t care about.] Karen asks if he could be woken up to make a national security decision and the doctor said he wouldn’t approve of it. The only way he would let it happen was if a family member signed off on it, and his sister is watching him worriedly from behind a glass door.

Doyle has Nadia in the holding room and he chokes her to emphasize that he will do whatever he has to to get information out of her. Nadia shoots back with the knowledge that when Doyle was in Denver it was reported that he “got off” by hurting people. Ew. Milo comes in and tells him that they found information that will lead them to the drones, so he can leave Nadia alone. Doyle leaves and Milo checks to make sure she’s ok. Nadia asks if he believes her, and he hesitates, which means maybe they won’t be getting married after all.

Morris uses Nadia’s computer to track down the Russian guy who is playing Space Invaders with the aerial drone joystick. Doyle gets his team ready and Jack prepares to go with them. Buchanan confronts him and tells him to go back to medical. Jack is still mighty angry that Bill didn’t tell him about Audrey. This is completely irrelevant to finding nuclear bombs but that's how Jack justifies it somehow. He also says that he knows Audrey was murdered looking for him and that he’s going to fight the whole population of China if he has to to avenge her death. So Bill lets him go.

They get to the sight where Russian aerial drone man is. Jack kills some guy just walking out of the building. Why did Jack assume he was a terrorist? It’s only like quarter to eight, he could’ve just been working late. Or Jack could’ve just told him to freeze and have someone cuff him. Maybe he’s practicing for the war he’s going to declare on China when this day’s over. They get inside, shoot mad homies, and find the computer that’s navigating the drone. Jack redirects it away from the target of San Francisco, and it crashes and burns in an industrial park. It’s still radioactive, but it didn’t detonate. Good job Jack, there’s no “do over” in the game of nuclear bombs.

Daniels is told that the bomb didn’t go off. He seems disappointed. When he’s informed that the area was still radioactive, he says that that is still considered an attack on the U.S. and we’re still going to bomb Derka Derkastan. Now even Lennox doesn’t like that idea. Everyone pleads with Daniels that there’s no reason to bomb them, since the bomb didn’t go off and the casualties will be like one firefighter. But he’s like nah, I’m gunna bomb them anyway. Peace homies.

This was a very CTU driven episode, which there haven’t been a lot of this season. This was a much better episode than the last couple of weeks, and maybe that’s why. This was also the best Chloe episode ever. The only way she could’ve been more awesome was if she was given a machine gun, a la season 4. However, there was still minimal Jack in this episode. Kiefer Sutherland is not the executive producer and the only person to appear in every single episode of the show for nothing. It’s because he’s awesome. So give me more Jack, all the time.

P.S. I just realized that there was no mention of Logan at all. Is he alive? What happened?