why I fall more in love with Jon Stewart everyday

Here is a wonderous clip of Jon Stewart talking about yet another Republican Presidential Candidate debate last night. 24 is a good show, it shouldn't be political idealogy. And I think it would be terrifying if Jack Bauer ACTUALLY worked for the government.

3:00 a.m. - 4:00 a.m.

So I skipped recapping the last two episodes because I’m lazy. But this one is worth a recap.

The episode begins back at CTU where Morris respectfully puts his jacket over what’s left of Milo’s head. Josh is being taken away by the Chinese and Marilyn is FLIPPING OUT. If I was head Chinese terrorist guy I totally would’ve shot her in the head. But Jack saves her life by telling the Chinese guy that he can calm her down. He then thanks the Chinese guy for giving him this opportunity. I love it when Jack snarls “thank you.” He comforts her by putting her in a chokehold. It’s really hard to type with fake nails. Josh is whisked away down the sewer.

The Chinese are about to roll out so they break up the CTU minions into two groups to lock them away. Jack is in group two and he falls in line next to Nadia. He reiterates, in case Nadia hasn’t been paying attention, that if they get locked up they will lose their chance of recovering the circuit board. He then tells her they have to try and escape but that they probably won’t make it out alive. Nadia’s down with that. I originally thought that Jack said, “I might not even go through with it,” because he’s snarling again and I had to rewind it. That would’ve been a very un-Jack Bauer thing to say. Chloe comes up and asks what they’re talking about which I thought was hilarious. She said it as if Jack and Nadia were just gossiping on their lunch hour. Anyway. Jack gives Nadia the signal and they both attack the closest Chinese person. Morris gets in on the action too and I think Nadia snaps some guy’s neck. Jack chokes the head terrorist with the guys own gun strap! It’s sick. Meanwhile, Nadia has a gun aimed at her head while Jack and Morris look on helplessly. Nadia has taken down two Chinese guys by herself, Jack’s taken down maybe three and Morris is still struggling with his first one. Come on Morris. A bullet takes down the guy who has Nadia and we see that Doyle and his CTU buddies have returned in the nick of time.

Jack and Doyle decide to go after Josh, knowing that the Chinese taking him must have something to do with the circuit board. Nadia allows Jack to be released from custody and off they go. But not before Jack gives Nadia a “great job.” Getting a “great job” from Jack is worth Jack’s weight in gold.

In the Chinese tunnel, Josh is returned to Cheng. Cheng is more than a little confusing to me. Isn’t he a high-ranking diplomat? Didn’t he have to take International Relations in college? He should know that stealing circuit board chips, taking hostages at a government facility and kidnapping isn’t good for Chinese relations. He’s such a renegade. So he gets Josh and calls Poppa Bauer. Phillip would like to talk to Josh. He explains to him that he wants to take Josh to live with him in the land of China because no one will ever forgive him for his father’s crimes. Phillip has apparently never been to the United States because that happens all the time. Phillip says in ten years the Chinese will surpass the U.S. in everything to which my thinking is Phillip will probably be dead in ten years time because he’s really old. Josh’s response to this is “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” which cracked me up. Phillip sighs at his grandson’s stupidity and tells him he’s going anyway. Last week’s episode, while it was entertaining, didn’t make any sense to me. I didn’t understand while Phillip couldn’t just wait until Josh and Marilyn leave CTU in the morning and then go see him himself. But the fact that he wants to take him to China kind of made more sense. Marilyn would’ve never been down with that.

After Josh hangs up with grandpa, Cheng throws him in the car to meet Phillip to exchange the boy for the circuit board. Josh whines to Cheng about being afraid of his grandpa and not wanting to go to stupid China and he never wanted to go on this stupid trip anyway. As they’re starting to leave, Jack creeps up from the hole in the sewer and starts shooting. Jack, Doyle and random agents start taking down the Chinese in an awesome shoot-out. Jack doesn’t even bother using both hands when firing his weapon. He also SLIDES ON THE FLOOR and shoots and kills a scary man. One of the best kills of the season.

Josh and Cheng get out of the car and start running. Josh turns around and kicks Cheng in the chests, which is more evidence that he’s Jack’s son. Or maybe Doyle’s, they all look so similar. I love the Ivy League outfit Josh is wearing. Josh falls and is dangling by a chain when Jack catches up with Cheng, and obviously starts yelling at him. But Josh is about to fall, because he’s a wuss, so Jack chooses to save him. Unfortunately, this gives Cheng ample time to escape. Josh tells Jack what his grandfather is planning, and Jack tells Doyle that his father is in fact still involved.

Your father’s involved with the Chinese? Why? – Doyle
I don’t know. I’ll ask him when I find him. - Jack Bauer

I can’t wait until Jack kills his dad. Speaking of dad, during his escape, Cheng calls Phillip to tell him Jack has Josh again. Phillip tells him, no son no chip and Cheng throws a hissy fit.

Back in Washington, Daniels is explaining to Karen about Lisa and how Lennox is watching the undercover operation. We then go back to Lennox who is still in the van watching Lisa and the spy get it on for upwards of half an hour now, even though last time the bumped uglies, it only took a commercial break.

And finally, we’re done. – Lennox

Lennox is officially my favorite character. Lisa excuses herself into the bathroom and spy guy goes to her PDA as planned. He looks like he’s about to download the planted information, but then changes his mind and doesn’t. When Lisa comes back spy guy is very suspicious towards her and Lisa breaks a wine bottle over his head. This is my dream. At some point in my life I really want to do that, it looks like so much fun. But spy guy doesn’t think its fun and he starts to choke her. The guards finally come in, but I really think they should’ve been closer so they could come in if things went badly, which they very much did. Lisa has a “faint pulse” and is loaded into an ambulance.

Lennox goes in to talk to spy guy and explains to him that he has to pass on the falsified information to his contact if he doesn’t want to receive the death penalty. Spy guy decides that’s a good deal.

Lennox gets back to the White House in four and a half minutes and Daniels and Karen are meeting with President Subarov. Daniels tells Subarov that the circuit board chip was destroyed in a raid by CTU. Subarov isn’t buying it though and does some mad trash talking to Daniels. If Daniels doesn’t give him proof in two hours time (how convenient, that’s how many episodes are left in the season!) that the chip is destroyed he’s blowin shit up. Holy shit Buffalo just scored 9 seconds into the game. I hope they get swept. Sorry.

Back on track. Lennox tells the rest of the people in Daniels’ office need to bounce so him, Daniels and Karen can be alone. It’s weird that they’re BFFs now. Lennox explains that Phillip Bauer is on the line. Phillip says that he has the circuit board chip and he’ll exchange it if he can leave the country with his grandson. Daniels is skeptical that it’s the real chip, so Phillip tells him the serial number. Luckily Lennox has a blueprint of the chip on his PDA and the serial number is blinking without any human input. The three musketeers consider it, Karen is not down. She says that Phillip can’t be trusted and that he’s a sociopath. Daniels asks Lennox what he thinks and he goes “well he IS a sociopath” which is hilarious. Lennox has been on point with the one-liners tonight. But Lennox is down with the plan; he thinks innocent children are good bargaining chips when dealing with national security. Daniels gets CTU on the phone.

Jack is with Josh and he is preparing to bring him back to CTU. An agent tells him that Marilyn wants to talk to him and he goes to take the call. As he’s walking away, Doyle takes Josh away in a helicopter. Someone ALWAYS gets Jack with the “there’s a call for you that you have to take far away from everyone you know.” Jack flips out and it takes like 9 agents to hold him back, which is completely unrealistic, no amount of CTU agents can hold Jack down. And after that one episode where Doyle was cool because he let Jack go chat with Audrey, he is again a tool. Congrats.

hotness

Ok so even though the Rangers season is over, I can't stop myself from sharing this gorgeous picture. I'm hoping to get myself back into blogging mode, starting tomorrow with a recap of 24. I've been too busy sitting on my ass and watching I Love New York 2 (I personally hope "New York" never finds love b/c I can't get enough of that show) and hockey to bring myself to be witty and write anything. But I should get myself back into it to keep myself practicing writing.

LET'S GO RANGERS

My throat hurts, there’s beer in my hair and my ears are ringing and I couldn’t be happier. Nothing compares to 20,000 people cheering and yelling as loud as they can all wanting the same thing. When they sang the National Anthem, the crowd was so loud you could only hear about the first 5 words. Then red, white and blue balloons were released and it was like a big celebration of New Yorkers. It looks so cool when a sell-out crowd is waving those white towels in glee. It’s incredible to hear 20,000 people hold their breathe right before King Henrik makes a save and then explode when he comes up with it 5 seconds later. I’ve been to the Garden when it’s loud, but that was usually for a special occasion, like the night they retired Richter’s number or Messier’s last game. They’ve been so dismal the last couple of years that the actual games haven’t been anything to get excited about. Now that it’s the playoffs, the crowd reacts to every single play. At the end of the second period when the Rangers were killing off a power play and they cleared it to end the period, the crowd went so nuts you would’ve thought they won the Cup. It was incredible. They’ve been playing really smart hockey. Avery, Tyutin and Ortmeyer have been playing really well defensively with their back-checking. Before I was just worried about them not getting swept, now I think they might actually have a chance at beating these guys. For some reason the Sabres can’t seem to get anything going offensively, and God knows the Rangers have given them plenty of chances to. Ryan Miller, the Sabres’ goalie, has been incredible, but Lundqvist has been just a little bit better, which is all the Rangers have needed.

On Thursday I’m going to Florida with the fam until Tuesday night. Which means they better be playing the games down there or I’m going to flip a shit. If the series goes to 7 games, we might be taking a later flight home, because we’ll be flying right when the game is starting. That is the definition of a true fan.

And now I can fall asleep to the soothing sounds of the thunderstorm!