You're a good liar, but I've seen better. -Jack Bauer

As Jack Nicholson yells in The Departed, "THIS AIN'T REALITY TV!!!" Apparently, the American public seems to think that fictional television shows accurately represent actual jobs.

I recently found two articles discussing how television makes us perceive actual jobs. A really good article from Newsweek discusses a reporters misconceptions about forensics because of CSI. Now, I love CSI, but I realized a long time ago that the technology shown on that show is simply not in every lab in America, and it doesn't take 30 seconds to process a fingerprint. It takes more like weeks. And being a crime scene investigator is actually incredibly boring. On the shows, the investigators also double as detectives, in reality they literally process the scene and move on. All evidence is given to detectives so they can solve the crime. On television, crime fighting, chasing down and cuffing criminals, and collecting evidence looks cool and sexy. As the writer of this article learned, it really isn't.

The criminal justice system and the forensic science community that serves it just are not sexy. It’s slow and verbose and in a word, gross. I wandered through sessions and seminars and workshops and lectures and nearly vomited every time. On day 1, I learned that arterial spray is a complete misnomer unless you call what comes out of a fire hydrant spray. Day 2 brought hard proof in black and white of what a bullet actually does to the human head. I guess the reason we only see the entry wound on TV is because a big bullet takes most of the head with it on its way out. On my third day, I got a quick tutorial on the host of bugs that move into our bodies after we leave them and well, I just couldn’t take it. I had to walk out. I always thought I had an iron-clad stomach because I could watch forensic television, but no, I can watch it because it’s fake. I know it’s fake, it looks fake and the reality of violent death is so much worse.

I've read a lot of articles about the "CSI-effect" which is that juries now need more evidence to convict someone of a crime. They don't understand that fingerprints aren't actually at every crime scene. The interest in becoming a CSI has led to increased enrollments in colleges all over America after the shows debut.

I also found a similar article to this about 24. It's a little older but still relevant. Over the summer there was a 2-hour panel that included 24 cast members, politicians and ::cringe:: people like Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh loves the show and I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I found out that I had something in common with Limbaugh. That is, besides a love of prescription pain killers. (100 PERCENT JOKE.) Michael Chertoff, the Head of Homeland Security, stated that his department is nothing like CTU. The article says "he doesn't have a way-cool, state-of-the-art Counter Terrorist Unit like the one on the Fox TV show. Bad guys aren't foiled on an hourly basis. And not everybody is romantically involved with co-workers." However, he did draw one similarity.

In one parallel between Homeland Security and the show, Chertoff spoke of the challenges in "trying to make the best choice with a series of bad options."Characters on "24" constantly face situations "where there is no clear magic bullet to solve the problem, and you have to weigh the cost benefits of a series of unpalatable alternatives," he said.

That makes sense, I just find it a little sad that the public has to be constantly reminded that fictional television shows don't portray jobs accurately.

David Heyman, a homeland security expert at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington, said "24" may give the public a false impression of how fast and easy it is to battle terrorists and other threats against the nation. Agreed Heritage's James Jay Carafano: "If we're waiting for Washington to do something before we can start saving lives, we're all going to die."

It's easy to get caught up in a really good television show. CSI and 24 both base their shows on actual jobs, but then take considerable liberties for the sake of entertainment. Because that's what these shows are for, entertainment.

Kiefer Sutherland is on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. One reporter was on the set for 24-hours to see what it was like to actually film the show. The article is pretty interesting, but there are a couple of spoilers, which is dumb. And now I head off to the lovely island of Puerto Rico. Happy spring break everyone!